Focus on letting @5 know the place              '
the target behavior plays in @2 life.           '
                                                '
Things that fit an interdependent pattern are   '
more likely to be maintained than behavior that '
is isolated and has no enduring place.  Most    '
children do not realize how one behavior builds '
on others.  They depend on adults to make that  '
clear and obvious to them.                      '
                                                '
                                                '
         MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR         '
                                                '
Often children cannot see the forest for the    '
trees.  They have a hard time seeing how behav- '
ior has consequences and how the consequences   '
result in new behavioral opportunites and how   '
their behavior reflects the sort of person they '
are.  Making that clear to @5 will make a       '
minor action more meaningful to @1.             '
                                                '
Ask yourself:                                   '
  *  What other behaviors depend on the target  '
     behavior and how can I convey that?        '
  *  What does the target behavior say about    '
     @5 as a person and does @3 know it?        '
         MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR         '
                                                '
Very young children can begin to learn that     '
everything they do results in something.  A     '
caretaker that spends a lot of time working with'
with a child gently correcting behavior that    '
goes wrong and encouraging behavior that goes   '
right is helping the child to begin this task.  '
                                                '
Try:                                            '
  *  Setting aside time to work with @5.        '
  *  Getting free of distractions and focusing  '
     on what @5 is doing.                       '
  *  Encouraging the good; correcting gently.   '
                                                '
         MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR         '
                                                '
Children of this age can get caught up in a bat-'
tle for control.  You have to win this battle,  '
but it should cost @5 little or nothing.        '
Being firm, but gentle is the key.  Give @1     '
all @3 can handle, but put up with nothing.     '
                                                '
Try:                                            '
  *  Analyzing all requests or protests to see  '
     if they are legitimate and within the      '
     limits of what you allow.                  '
  *  Refuse all behavior that runs counter to   '
     what you want to keep.                     '
  *  Encourage all consistent behavior.         '
         MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR         '
                                                '
Children of this age get so wrapped up in the   '
world and how it works that they get distracted '
by a lot of magical thinking.  They need to be  '
gently brought down to earth where they can     '
learn that what they choose to do and what they '
actually do makes all the difference.           '
                                                '
Try:                                            '
  *  When @5 misses an opportunity to do        '
     what you want @1 to do, point out that     '
     the chance was missed.                     '
  *  Pointing out what did not happen as the    '
     result of @1 doing something else.         '
         MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR         '
                                                '
Children of this age have a hard time seeing    '
that what they do impacts on their caretakers.  '
You can get this across to @5 by telling        '
@1 how @2 makes you feel.                       '
It is particularly important to tell @1 how     '
you feel when your expectations are not met.    '
                                                '
Try:                                            '
  *  Assuring that @5 knows what is             '
     expected of @1 and when.                   '
  *  Letting @5 know how pleased you are        '
     when your expectations are met.            '
  *  Being disappointed when they are not met.  '
         MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR         '
                                                '
Adolescents have a hard time realizing that     '
they fit into a large social context, particu-  '
larly the family.  They can become wrapped up   '
with peers to the exclusion of the family.      '
Giving them a sense of what is necessary to     '
live as a full member of the family is a way to '
preserve a sense of unity.                      '
                                                '
Try:                                            '
  *  Assuring that @5 knows the ground          '
     rules, why you have made the rules, and    '
     how the target behavior fits the rules.    '
  *  Seeing the rules as a price @3 must pay.   '
                                                '
                                                '
                                                '